Funny Quotes

If you've found some really good quotes, post them here.

Here's a bunch of motorsport quotes.

John Cleland wrote:

The guy who designed that corner should be taken into a dark room and beaten

Greg Rust wrote:

It's a nuts time

Neil Crompton wrote:

It's a nothing-burger corner

Martin Brundle wrote:

And Pantano having an 'I'll go join that accident' moment

Cam McConville wrote:

Stone, motherless, last

Martin Brundle also wrote:

He needed a calendar to time his first sector

Russell Ingall wrote:

If it moves, try racing it. If it doesn't, try eating it

Matt White wrote:

I said do something special, not something stupid!

Murray Walker wrote:

Only a few more laps to go and then the action will begin, unless this is the action, which it is

Murray Walker wrote:

And that is Ralf Schumacher - son of Michael?

Eddie Irvine wrote:

Loads of overtaking is boring. You go fishing and you catch a fish every ten minutes and it's boring. But if you sit there all day, and you catch one mega fish, you come back with stories that you caught a fish this big (indicates a big fish), intead of this size (indicating a small fish)

Jimmy Horton wrote:

You know you're in trouble when the first person to get to you after a wreck is carrying a beer

Typical Aussie quote:

Dick Johnson wrote:

The car is such a dog we should have tied it to the fence

Jenson Button wrote:

F1 won't change me

Five weeks later he dumped his girlfriend of five years and bought a Ferrari.

Murray Walker (after Derek Warwick crashed into a TV camera) wrote:

He's broken our camera lens that'll be six grand please Derek!

And our net meeting on TS.

Dunnybrusher wrote:

No, they're not my socks. I don't wear black socks. Now go away before Hitler rapes you

Dunnybrusher wrote:

Hit yourself over the head with it. I hit myself over the head with things and they work

Dunnybrusher wrote:

She won't shy me the bloody socks!

I forget the rest. Kwts or Oughton, please edit this post if you remember any.

Random quotes.

Jeremy Clarkson wrote:

Jesus drove a Honda. (John 13:49) "For I did not speak of my own Accord."

Jeremy Clarkson wrote:

America: A bunch of wankers living in a country with no word for wanker

George Bush wrote:

I hear these rumours on the internets

A sign at Bubba Gump's wrote:

Due to the recent financial situation, the light at the end of the tunnel has been temporarily switched off.

Carl Barron wrote:

The bad thing about going bald is people think you don't know it. "Oh really? I thought my head was getting bigger."

James May wrote:

You're wearing tights. I can't take lectures on physics from a man wearing tights. Figure skating, yes, but physics, no

Please post replies.

Lmao. I'm posting a vid of the TS meeting .

Posted one ^_^

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Bump. Actually, from now on, I'll just post new quotes as replies.
Check out the motorsport ones

Dunnybrusher wrote:

What aw Hawt Pawkets? We don't have Hawt Pawkets in Australia.

Edit:

Ronnie Darmis wrote:

It doesn't fit, why doesn't it fit?

Dunnybrusher wrote:

That's what she said.